Wednesday, June 30, 2010

No Wind For These Sails

I realized that it has been a few days since I've written an entry and that a lot of those I have written lately have been pretty sparse. A big part of that is that I am presently waiting to find out about a lot of different things and all I can do is be patient to receive answers from others on things that are, at this point, beyond my control. I am expecting my financial aid award notice some time within the next week from Minneapolis Community and Technical College. I am waiting for my boss and her fellow manager for our larger organization to meet and determine if there is any potential for the proposal I have made to be reassigned job duties and go to a part time schedule. I have tried applying everywhere I can find so far [with openings] that offers flexible part-time hours AND benefits. I think there may be some scholarship applications I can work on, but other than that I feel like I've really lost all my momentum. I still want to return to school, get my AS in biology, go to vet school and work as a large animal veterinarian. That hasn't changed at all. I'm just really feeling very aware of all the extenuating circumstances that are outside of my control right now and I'm having a hard time letting go and accepting that. I suspect I'll be praying regularly for the next few days (or weeks) for detachment from the things that are troubling me right now. If I can't do that, if I can't detach from concern over the future and live in the present, I'm going to spend the immediate future more often anxious than not.

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